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A few weeks ago right before my birthday I begged Ben to spend an hour away from the books (police academy) and capture some photos together to celebrate our 10 year anniversary! He agreed and was such a trooper! I love these photos by Ashley! We had such a great time and this field where they were taken is walking distance from our house! You can’t tell from the photos but 2 of our littles decided to come along for the shoot and be “assistants!”
Ten years feels like a long time, but in reality it’s not! In so many ways I feel like we are just getting started! Recently so much has changed that I feel like we are almost starting over in some ways. Not in a bad way, it is all good! Change also means hard sometimes but thats ok! Ben recently took on a job with the Sacramento PD. He just completed 5 weeks of the Pre-Academy. It was tough. Like unexpectedly REALLY hard! It was hard on him and hard for me too. Roles have changed and we are adjusting!
Ben has always 100% supported everything I have done. He has always believed in me and thought that I could do anything. I am finally in a place with my blog and health coaching where I feel confident to succeed. He has poured in to my endeavors in every way that he could. He is a major supporter and encourager. Now it is my turn!! I need to support him like never before in this next season. The police academy is an all in ordeal. He is ALL the way in. The past 5 weeks have been eye opening to say the least. He just started the actual academy and it is insane. The academy will last until December of this year. Ben will have no other job or commitments but this. It will require everything of him! So, here we go!!
Enough on the now. We will get through this and I have to say, I believe he has everything it takes! I wanted to share 5 reflections on the past 10 years.
- Over communicate: I am a talker, Ben is not. One thing I have realized more recently is that men and women really do not think the same. Men also cannot read our minds. As much as we would love for our men to just “get it!!!” they don’t! You have to spell it out! I am working on this!! Talk, talk, talk, don’t assume anything.
- Date Often: Guys, I love our dates. They don’t happen often but when they do we get to talk and connect and I think it is SO very important to reconnect and get back on the same page, hear about what the other person has been up to and thinking about. It can be simple, but a really important time.
- People Change: I met Ben when he was 20 and I was 22. I think there is so much growing up that happens from age 20-30. We both have changed and we have celebrated that. I can say that the change has been positive. The biggest change I have seen in Ben is his confidence, leadership and over all maturity as a man. I am naturally a strong personality. In spite of that, he leads our family with quiet godly leadership.
- Don’t be afraid of counseling: When we first got engaged Ben and I dove into counseling. I have to say that this was very vital for the foundation of our marriage. At the time, his parents were separating and we were embarking on a new journey together as a soon to be married couple. Bringing a new couple together from two different back grounds is no easy task! Counseling helped us navigate through different perspectives, learn more about who we were individually and also how to communicate. We continued to seek counsel even after tying the knot and it was SO helpful. Since moving to CA 5 years ago, we haven’t been in counseling but the goal is to get back into it once Ben has time again! It is so important to allow a healthy perspective into your marriage for the sake of growth and clear communication.
- Discover your spouses love language: A part of our homework in the beginning of marriage counseling was to read the book “The 5 Love Languages” By Gary Chapman. The book dives in to the five love languages:Words of affirmation, Quality time, Receiving gifts, Acts of service, Physical touch. Ben and I are both words of affirmation. I am also gifts and physical touch! I think it is so important to discover how your spouse feels loved and how you received love! You can take the love language quiz here!
All Photos By: Ashley Baumgartner