A few weeks ago right before my birthday I begged Ben to spend an hour away from the books (police academy) and capture some photos together to celebrate our 10 year anniversary! He agreed and was such a trooper! I love these photos by Ashley! We had such a great time and this field where they were taken is walking distance from our house! You can’t tell from the photos but 2 of our littles decided to come along for the shoot and be “assistants!”
Ten years feels like a long time, but in reality it’s not! In so many ways I feel like we are just getting started! Recently so much has changed that I feel like we are almost starting over in some ways. Â Not in a bad way, it is all good! Change also means hard sometimes but thats ok! Ben recently took on a job with the Sacramento PD. Â He just completed 5 weeks of the Pre-Academy. Â It was tough. Â Like unexpectedly REALLY hard! It was hard on him and hard for me too. Roles have changed and we are adjusting!
Ben has always 100% supported everything I have done. Â He has always believed in me and thought that I could do anything. I am finally in a place with my blog and health coaching where I feel confident to succeed. Â He has poured in to my endeavors in every way that he could. Â He is a major supporter and encourager. Â Now it is my turn!! Â I need to support him like never before in this next season. Â The police academy is an all in ordeal. Â He is ALL the way in. The past 5 weeks have been eye opening to say the least. Â He just started the actual academy and it is insane. Â The academy will last until December of this year. Â Ben will have no other job or commitments but this. Â It will require everything of him! So, here we go!!
Enough on the now. Â We will get through this and I have to say, I believe he has everything it takes! I wanted to share 5 reflections on the past 10 years.
- Over communicate: Â I am a talker, Ben is not. Â One thing I have realized more recently is that men and women really do not think the same. Â Men also cannot read our minds. Â As much as we would love for our men to just “get it!!!” they don’t! You have to spell it out! I am working on this!! Talk, talk, talk, don’t assume anything.
- Date Often: Guys, I love our dates. Â They don’t happen often but when they do we get to talk and connect and I think it is SO very important to reconnect and get back on the same page, hear about what the other person has been up to and thinking about. Â It can be simple, but a really important time.
- People Change:Â I met Ben when he was 20 and I was 22. Â I think there is so much growing up that happens from age 20-30. Â We both have changed and we have celebrated that. Â I can say that the change has been positive. The biggest change I have seen in Ben is his confidence, leadership and over all maturity as a man. Â I am naturally a strong personality. Â In spite of that, he leads our family with quiet godly leadership.
- Don’t be afraid of counseling:Â When we first got engaged Ben and I dove into counseling. I Â have to say that this was very vital for the foundation of our marriage. Â At the time, his parents were separating and we were embarking on a new journey together as a soon to be married couple. Â Bringing a new couple together from two different back grounds is no easy task! Counseling helped us navigate through different perspectives, learn more about who we were individually and also how to communicate. Â We continued to seek counsel even after tying the knot and it was SO helpful. Â Since moving to CA 5 years ago, we haven’t been in counseling but the goal is to get back into it once Ben has time again! It is so important to allow a healthy perspective into your marriage for the sake of growth and clear communication.
- Discover your spouses love language: A part of our homework in the beginning of marriage counseling was to read the book “The 5 Love Languages” By Gary Chapman. The book dives in to the five love languages:Words of affirmation, Quality time, Receiving gifts, Acts of service, Physical touch.  Ben and I are both words of affirmation.  I am also gifts and physical touch! I think it is so important to discover how your spouse feels loved and how you received love! You can take the love language quiz here!Â
So that’s all I’ve got for now haha! 10 years down, eternity to go! I love my man so much and I am so PROUD of all he is doing right now! He can see previous anniversary posts here, here and here.
All Photos By: Ashley BaumgartnerÂ
Comments ( 45 )
kumamonjeng
Congrats on your 10 years ANNIVERSARY. I love the pictures so much and I can feel love in the air, just by staring at those pictures you took with Ben. How sweet. Thanks for your tips to maintain a healthy relationship. Really glad to know that you guys are so supporting each other in your own way. Really happy for your guys from the bottom of my heart. More 10 years to come.
Annaliese
Awww happy anniversary to you both!! Such wise words- especially regarding premarital counseling!
xoxo A
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Rach
Happy Anniversary!!!And these are great advise. Definitely keeping these in mind for my marriage!
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Kim
These pictures are so perfect! I love all of your advice and I could not agree more on communication. it is SO important in a relationship.
xoxo,
Kim
Cathy
Your relationship sounds amazing! Congrats on your ten year!!
XOXo
Cathy
Kendra B
Congratulations on 10 years! Your photos are beautiful. Communication & Trust are the biggest things in relationship survival & you are absolutely right!! Thanks for sharing. 🙂
Kendra B
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DESI
CONGRATULATION ON YOUR 10 YEAR ANNIVERSARY! AND THIS IS SUCH A BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN POST AND PHOTOS. THANK YOU FOR SHARING!
DESI
Savannah
Happy anniversary to you! These pictures are gorgeous! Thanks so much for sharing what you’ve learned in ten years with the rest of us.
Natalie
Happy Anniversary!! 🙂 These photos are so sweet.
heather
happy anniversary. These days 10 years is a lifetime in a marriage so congrats on such a huge achievement!
Terri Beavers
Happy 10 years, you both look blissfully happy still. I am swooning over these photos. What a great set and if I was you I’d have them made into canvases.
Lindsey
These photos blow me away. It is so obvious how much you adore each other. Wishing you many more decades of Happiness!
Abbi @Pomsly
Such a beautiful blog post! I love your pictures. 🙂
JEHAVA
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL COUPLE YOU ARE! CONGRATS!!THIS IS SUCH A BLESSING AND ACCOMPLISHMENT!
Jasmine Vargas
Your photos are so freaking beautiful!!!! happy 10 years.
Christie Brown
Oh gosh, these photos are adorable! This was such a heartwarming read. I’m so happy to see that the love is still very much there after all this time. Happy Anniversary – 10 years is amazing! Here’s to many more happy years together. <3 x
Kelsie
These are such perfect, great tips!! Congrats on 10 years together! I love your blog and your heart for the lord, so i just followed all your social media. I couldn’t agree more with your point about counseling- I’m said that there’s stigma there! PS. Your dress is gorgeous and you look lovely in it!
Emma Riley
first of all i would like to great you a happy 10th year wedding anniversary and congratulations. I saw in these photos how you loved and adore each other and i hope both of you will continue to love, respect and trust each other.
Johanne
Wow, these are such lovely pictures! Beautiful. Congrats on your 10 year anniversary! Also, great tips. I think my bf and I are the exact opposite when it comes to communication, but I’m The quiet one and he always holds me accountable for that (IN a good way).
Morgan klein
Aw this post is so beautiful. Happy anniversary to both of you. 10 years wow—-love it!!
christina beauchamp
Congratulations on your 10 years anniversary! You are right communication & trust is vital in every relationship especially in marriage.
Holly
Happy anniversary!! You guys are a gorgeous couple, and I will totally be holding onto these tips as I’m getting married next year.
Indya | The Small Adventurer
Wow, 10 years! Congratulations! I love that you said that it still feels like the beginning. I’ve been with my partner for 5 years and people constantly ask how we survived so long and how we are so happy, and I just smile because it still feels like the start to me. We still can’t get enough of each other and always want to spend time together, and I wouldn’t have it any other way! I can’t wait until we’re celebrating 10 years ourselves!
Kimberly @mommyhoodjoy
Happy 10 years to you both!
maggie
Aw happy 10 year Anni!! XO
Cristina – Memories of the Pacific
Happy anniversary and congrats on the 10 years, that’s a big milestone! I’ll be celebrating my first wedding anniversary on the 22nd 🙂
Aduke Schulist
Beautiful pictures and great advice!! Before I even started dating my boyfriend, I asked him about his love language and had him take the test. I think that is so important.
Kelsie
10 years!! How amazing! These are beautiful! congratulations!
Yeah Lifestyle
Happy 10 year anniversary to the both of you. these photos of you celebrate the love you have for each other, these are such stunning shots!
Tara
Happy anniversary. I enjoyed reading your post. Gary Chapman’s books is great for learning your spouses love language. We are coming up to 20 years this year, we keep thinking it is already 20. Thanks for sharing.
Belle
Happy 10 amazing years to you and ben! I absolutely agree with all of these especially knowing the love language. This is something that me & my husband always struggle with because we have different love language. But knowing what is ours definitely helped a lot!
Ruth I.
These are lovely photos! Congrats on your 10th. I think communication is the key, also knowing the love language makes things easier, lol!
Lydia Samson
I find it interesting that I keep hearing the same advice over and over again about how to make a marraige successful. We are 3 years in, and everything I read or hear about how to be successful are these 5 things. Thanks for sharing.
Nancy at Whispered Inspirations
I love all the tips here, it’s so true. I adore the pictures, you can really see the love between you two. Beautiful.
Tina Hogan Grant
Congrats and here’s to another amazing 10 years. I’ve been married 25 years and it just keeps getting better. The best is yet to come 🙂
Becky @ Disney in your Day
I love this! Your relationship sounds so solid and your advice is wonderful. I love your point about people changing – My husband and I met when we were 18 and 19. now we’re 29 and 30 and we are both so different, but for the better – and i think you know you’re with the right person when you can change that much and support each other, and grow and celebrate it together. also, your pictures are gorgeous!
ashley hargrove
Happy anniversary friend!! Your family is serious goals. I’m not even joking. I hope I make it 10 years!!
adriana
Awww these pictures are the cutest! happy anniversary!
Greta
Happy anniversary love birds! I wish you two many years of love and happiness!
Ashley wilson
Happy 10 year anniversary! These photos are stunning.
Shannon gurnee
Happy 10 year anniversary girl! That’s so awesome! I love the pictures you shared and the tips too.
anna english
This is so sweet. happy anniversary ruthie!
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