{Raising these girls}

{Raising these girls}

Looking back on the past 7 years I can’t believe how close we had the kids. 2 months after being married we got pregnant.  From there we had kids 17 months apart and then 15 months apart. It was crazy then and it’s crazy now, but I don’t think I would do anything differently.  Just looking back I don’t know how we did it.

My girls in particular are independent, competitive, opinionated, out spoken, strong willed girls.  I’m not sure where they got all this from! Just kidding! I know exactly where these personality traits stem from.  They got a good mix of Ben and myself. Ben can be almost unreasonably competitive, I am outrageously outspoken, strong willed and opinionated. So there you have it. The problem is, you put all these traits together in one house with girls that are nearly the sane age and lots of fights break out.

We are in a stage right now that is just exhausting. Ava 6, Savannah nearly 5, on a daily basis find something to fight over, be better at, tell on one another over, etc. There’s even some pulling of hair and some pushing. All I can think is, if this what life is like with 5 and 6 year old girls, what am I going to do when they are 15 and 16. I know I sound dramatic but I’m just soo tired of convincing, mainly Ava (the more mean one! Lol) that family is first and that we need to always choose love. I know that one day it will all sink in. But for now Ava can’t stand the sigh of Savannah (at least it seems this way) and every 5 minutes I have one of them running up to me with a complaint about the other one. I’m sure it’s all normal, but at times it makes me a bit sad and definetly upset! Luckily no season lasts a life time and this too shall pass! Any advice on getting girls to get along?!?? ?. Thanks so much for reading the blog!!

Ruthie xoxo

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Ruthie:

Dress: Marshall’s

Shoes: Mossimo (target)

Sunnies: Charming Charlie

Jewelry: Charlotte Russe

Ava:

Top & shorts- Target

Shoes: Converse

Savannah: 

All target

7 Comments

  1. Shavonne June 25, 2015 / 2:39 pm

    Thank you for being real Ruthie! Sometimes we look at other people’s lives and think they’re perfect or don’t go through the same things as we do but the truth is we all go through with ourselves and our kids, and we all need a little guidance at times. I just wanted to say thank you! I don’t have advice because mine are 3 and 9 months sorry lol. ..but I will be sure to check back and see the advice for when my kids do get there…it’s actually already starting little by little ♡

    • ruthieridley June 30, 2015 / 1:30 pm

      Thank you for commenting Shavonne!!!! It means the world ????

  2. Sarah S June 25, 2015 / 5:19 pm

    As a sister with a sister 22 months younger: I want to say to you, my parents have been through this and survived. So will you. We put them through hell for years and came out of it knowing two things:
    1. No one will ever fight you like your sister fights you.
    2. No one will ever love you like your sister loves you.

    Your job as parents is to keep showing love and leadership. You’re obviously doing that well, because you have three happy, healthy, and strong children.

    They will fight because they are young and selfishness is part of our nature as humans. They will exhaust you because you love them as our Heavenly father loves us, unconditionally and sacrificially.

    They will get older and it will get worse.

    They will fight over room decorations and they will fight over who is smarter and they will fight over who’s turn it is to do whatever chore and they will fight over the bathroom sink and who gets to sit in the front seat and who gets to wear which color and they will get physical (we used brooms) and they will make each other cry because they are sisters.

    They will dry each other’s tears and they will beat up each other’s bullies and they will fight each other’s fears and they will share their favorite music and get together to watch their favorite movies and they will try to run their brother’s life and they will give each other advice and they will blow up each other’s phones and steal each other’s friends and they will bond over surviving their parents and they will share youtube videos of puppies on each other’s walls and they will know each other better than they know their own souls because they are sisters.

    I wish I could properly express just how absolutely essential those years of arguing and fighting and hair pulling and tattling are. They’ll need something to cry laughing over ten years later, and those memories will be it.

    Give it time and I promise you they will find their way back to each other. The beautiful thing about family is that loving each other is not contingent on your interests staying the same. They will raise each other into more complete versions of themselves because they are different. They will teach other compassion and empathy and patience and persistence. Ava will learn that while being competitive is great, being a leader is more important. Savannah will learn that her sensitivity will get her riled up, but her passion will make her unstoppable.

    I could go on and on but instead I will simply pray that God gives you strength and patience and grace as you continue to fight the good fight that is parenting. The vibrancy of their personalities means they feel safe and loved. You are doing it right Ruthie. You’re doing it right.

    -Sarah

    • ruthieridley June 30, 2015 / 1:30 pm

      Sarah, thank you for this insight. It is so incredibly good. Wow. Thank you!!!!!!! ??

  3. Jena June 25, 2015 / 9:28 pm

    Hey lady! This reminds me of my house growing up. I’m out of 7 kids, with 5 girls and 2 boys. We were all about 2-3 years apart but spent a lot of time fighting it out! LOL. It sure was hard for my mom and dad, and I know they only got through with Jesus. I mean how else could you do it? BUT, I will say that my mom made it a point to let us know when we did fight that we couldn’t play with each other – a lot of time outs from each other, often made us miss hanging out and we would try to get along even if that meant compromising on getting the best doll so that we could actually play together. LOL. I don’t know if you are already doing that, but maybe if not that will help. Also I am pretty sure my mom always talked about being nice to each other and that family was important and she said it like a broken record, and it wasn’t until I moved out of the house that I figured that out, and really not until the past year or so when my daughter was born. SO, I say all that to say, lean hard on Jesus because you are definitely going to have to keep saying it over and over again. BUT it will stick with them, and they will get it. Just maybe not right now! I hope that encourages you, love!

    • ruthieridley June 30, 2015 / 1:31 pm

      Wow Jena, this is so good. Thank you for sharing. Super super encouraging!!!!! Much love xoxo

  4. Seated with Christ June 27, 2015 / 3:33 am

    Hey Ruthie,

    Not sure if you’ve already utilized this resource but Dani Johnson’s book “Grooming the Next Generation for Success” is excellent. She touches on sibling rivalry in the chapter on “people skills” I believe. It may help out with your situation.

    Xoxo

    Maggie L.

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