I feel like my coffee dates are getting increasingly intense! Ha! They aren’t I promise. I just have had so much going on in my heart that I feel like this is the perfect space and time to share. You can find last month’s coffee date here. My hope in sharing is that many of you can relate to what I am saying. A few months ago I wrote a post about “Fear Of Man” also, what I would relate to as people pleasing out of a motive of fear. Since then, I feel like I have grown and changed a lot. I want to share a bit of the contrast between a people pleaser and an inspired leader. I will be honest and say that I can often lean more towards the side of people pleasing but have made a HUGE effort in recent months to be a true inspired leader.
- Eager to agree with others.
- Trouble saying no or setting limits
- They have a tendency to not accept genuine praise or feedback
- They put themselves on the back burner and sacrifice their own needs for others
- Difficulty being honest about how they really feel
- Can see from anybody’s point of view
- They fear people will stop liking or respecting them if they don’t to agree to others requests
- Can be very sensitive to criticism
- These are people who have boundaries
- Honest and transparent in conversation
- They live with vision and integrity
- They have a balance of action and reflection when it comes to decision making
- They are decisive and facilitate solutions well with others
- They inspire others to be leaders
- They stay true to their beliefs
- Constantly looking to grow and be a better individual regardless of what people are doing around them
Now that I have kind of broken down attributes of both kinds of people, which one are you? It’s funny, as I was doing my research, reading and learning about this topic, I would write down people pleasing attributes and thought, oh dear, that can totally be me! As I stated earlier I can definitely lean more toward a people pleaser. I love people. I want people to be happy and I don’t want them to be upset with me. What I am learning however, is that no matter what I am going to offend or upset someone. It cannot be avoided. My happiness, well-being and growth is equally as important to yours but no one can take care of me, but me. Does that make sense? I am learning the hard way that leadership requires boundaries, balance, sometimes offending others and putting oneself first from time to time. This is good, its how we grow, its how we lead and make lasting impact on this world. We cannot pursue and fulfill our dreams if we are too busy trying to take care of everyone else. Let me know your thoughts on all of this! I am a work in progress!