9 Years Married, Eternity To Go: 3 Keys To Marriage Success

9 Years Married, Eternity To Go: 3 Keys To Marriage Success

9 Years Married, Eternity To Go: 3 Keys To Marriage Success

9 Years Married, Eternity To Go: 3 Keys To Marriage Success

9 Years Married, Eternity To Go: 3 Keys To Marriage Success

9 Years Married, Eternity To Go: 3 Keys To Marriage Success

9 Years Married, Eternity To Go: 3 Keys To Marriage Success

 

Ben and I have been together for 10 years and married 9.  These have been the most wonderful years of my life.   Ben is wise, gentle and strong.  He has proven to be the priest of our home and has done such an admirable job of leading us all down the right path with the help and reliance on the Holy Spirit.  He is my side-kick, partner in crime and ultimately my best friend.  Over the years we have had to work at our relationship… mostly work at understanding each other.  When you come from 2 completely different back grounds and upbringings it can sometimes be very difficult to understand a person and why they do what they do or why they are the way they are. We have spent some time learning to listen to one another and have managed gather feedback from one another and apply it to our lives as a couple.  I can honestly say that we have grown to love each other more and more over the years.  Its amazing how two people can grow together and grow up together as one.  Ben was 21 when we got married and I was 23.  In a lot of ways we were young.  We had to learn a lot about adulthood and about relationships.  With Ben being my first real boyfriend, I had to learn even more.  As we celebrate 9 years of marriage I would like to share 3 keys with you all that I think has led to the strengthening of our bond as the years go by.

3 Keys To Marriage Success: The 3 C’s

  1. The first thing that comes to mind is communication.  I don’t think that I can stress this enough.  A breakdown of communication has been the source of a lot of frustrations between Ben and I and it simply stems from not being on the same page and simple misunderstandings.  I am no marriage expert so please hear me as I share, I am just merely explaining what we have experienced.  Talk through it.  Walk through it.  Listen.  Listening is just as important as speaking. If you don’t talk about different topics or issues that have offended you, your heart can quickly become bitter and that is where walls begin to form.  As walls form it creates space between you and your spouse.   Early on in our marriage, Ben and I decided to go to marriage counseling.  I found it sooo helpful to have a third party help me be understood and learn how to understand my husband.  If there is a topic in your marriage that you both can’t seem to come to a common agreement on, I highly recommend inviting a trusted, non-biased third party into your space.  Whether that be through counseling or an older, more wise couple you look up to, this can be key to succeeding in your marriage and clearly communicating with one another.  We no longer go to marriage counseling regularly, but we continue to seek out advice as needed and have formed a communication style that seems to work for us.
  2. Connection: Whether this is a simple date night, a romantic dinner or intimacy, connection with your spouse is one of the most important things for a healthy marriage.  I feel like I am a little needy… I require daily connection with Ben.  Thankfully he is a really good tester but every night before bed I want to connect.  I want to hear about his day, what he is thinking, what he is stressed about and then he gets to listen to me! My issues always outweigh his LOL!! We have a few shows that we love to watch together but prior to zoning out I love to talk!! Heading into our 10th year of marriage we don’t require monthly getaways or anything but we do like to do weekly date nights, even if they are at home! I think there is something really powerful about setting time aside for one another and saying “I choose you.”  Putting phones away and just focusing on the other person.  I will be the first to say that connection looks different for every couple, but it is important.  Find a way to connect and work at it! It will keep you unified and aware of where the other person is at!
  3. Creativity: This is not a strong point for me.  I like to keep things the way I am used to them being… Ben has a strong sense of adventure and it actually gives me anxiety! At the same time, I feel like when we get creative in our relationship, venture out, try something new, make an extra effort, it rekindles fires and keeps things interesting and exciting.  For me it increases the trust I have in Ben… often times I am the one needing to be stretched. To be more specific, he likes to actually do things for dates, not just have a nice meal and drinks…  Golf, bowl, any sport really he would call a great date night! For vacations he likes to do water sports, hike, visit caves, see the country, be creative! I like simplicity and norm…In all relationships, meeting the other person half way is also so key to success.  I am learning to be more creative in our relationship.  There is nothing more beautiful than growing together.

I am sure that in ten years I will have a lot more to say about these 3 C’s but for now this is what I have to share.  We are a work in progress but I wouldn’t want to be on this journey with anyone else!! Happy anniversary Benjamin!! Thanks for forcing me to grow up and helping make me a better person.  Love you deep, big and wide.  Thanks as always for stopping by the blog!! Have an amazing rest of your week!!

 

 

V-Neck Dress

Men’s Palm Tree Shirt

Black Jeans

Tan Pumps

Black Converse

 

Photos By Nicole Quiroz

39 Comments

  1. Nataly July 12, 2017 / 7:01 am

    Happy Anniversary to you! Love your marriage tips too! Communication is the biggest one for me and my hubby too!

  2. Ashley DTKAustin July 12, 2017 / 7:17 am

    Happy Anniversary!! This is such a beautiful post with some great tips!! I feel like we always forget to do the easy stuff! 🙂

  3. Ashley Stephenson July 12, 2017 / 7:31 am

    Happy anniversary!! These are all such great advice! We are at 1.5 years!

  4. Samantha July 12, 2017 / 7:50 am

    Happy anniversary! Lovely post, with lots of good advice included, especially for those of us headed towards marriage. Thank you for sharing!

  5. Natasha Stoneking July 12, 2017 / 10:57 am

    y’ll are just adorable… congrats on this milestone!! love the three “Cs” you listed, too

  6. Danielle July 12, 2017 / 1:25 pm

    Absolutely love these tips! I’ve been married for only 2, yet those three Cs are so important! Happy anniversary!

    xx, Danielle | Pineapple & Prosecco

  7. Karen July 12, 2017 / 5:48 pm

    Beautiful Post! Love your tips.

  8. Sydney July 12, 2017 / 5:51 pm

    Awe Ruthie I just adore these photos!! So cute!!

  9. Desiree July 12, 2017 / 8:36 pm

    Communication would definitely be my #1 thing that should be strong in any relationship! It makes such a difference to have strong communication in a marriage! These are all great, thanks for sharing! Also, love the pictures, you guys are so cute!

  10. TColeman July 13, 2017 / 5:23 am

    Communication is definitely key in any relationship. That communication can also change as the 2 of you grow. Congrats on the 9 year anniversary. I wish you many more!

  11. kallie July 13, 2017 / 5:31 am

    Aw I loved this! Communication is def always a key factor but I liked that you added creativity too!

  12. Jessica July 13, 2017 / 8:32 am

    You guys are the most adorable couple! I think communication is the most important thing for a successful relationship and marriage. You have to be able to talk with each other effectively!
    xo Jessica
    http://www.whatsfordinneresq.com

  13. Eri July 13, 2017 / 9:34 am

    Congratulations and you two make me happy just looking at you. 🙂 Love the pics! Great marriage tips, too. I really like the one about connectivity.

  14. Hannah July 13, 2017 / 10:09 am

    Awww these photos are so fun and beautiful! I love all your tips and think they can easily be applied to any relationships as well! Thanks for sharing;)

    xoxo, Hannah

  15. Alicia July 13, 2017 / 10:15 am

    As someone getting married soon I loved reading your insight. I definitely agree that communication is #1 in basically any relationship. Thanks for sharing!

  16. Erica @ Coming up Roses July 13, 2017 / 1:47 pm

    Happy anniversary! Lovelovelove this post! Communication and connection are so important for a marriage. My husband and I go out for regular day nights so that we can get out of our house and just enjoy each other’s company.

  17. Kelsey July 13, 2017 / 6:59 pm

    Aw I love when you get personal on here! Happy anniversary! xo

  18. Ashley July 13, 2017 / 7:18 pm

    I love this sweet post! Happy Anniversary!!!

  19. Nicole Leffew July 13, 2017 / 8:25 pm

    Love these three C’s and I’ll take any advice from you mama! You two are the cutest!

  20. Morgan Klein July 14, 2017 / 6:15 am

    I love this post so much and couldn’t agree more!! Communication is so important!! Happy Anniversary!

  21. Nicole Green July 14, 2017 / 6:59 am

    Congratulations on 9 years! I love that you take the time to say “I choose you.” that’s seriously awesome.

  22. Shelby Back July 14, 2017 / 9:42 am

    Congratulations on 9 years! Thats amazing! And I loved reading this post. These are great tips, and you all are precious! P.s. this color looks amazing on you!

    xo!
    Shelby
    http://www.glitterandgingham.com

  23. Maggie July 14, 2017 / 11:16 am

    Aw congrats!! So sweet!

  24. Ashley Zeal July 14, 2017 / 2:23 pm

    These are so great, Ruthie. Congrats to nine happy years! You guys are a gorgeous couple.

  25. Jessica July 14, 2017 / 5:52 pm

    Congratulations and great tips for married life! Your photos together are gorgeous too 🙂
    ~Jessica

  26. Carolina Hellal July 14, 2017 / 8:20 pm

    This was so lovely to read!! Thanks for sharing and congratulations!!! You guys are so cute together!

  27. Lily July 14, 2017 / 11:01 pm

    YES to all of this!! Communication is key in any relationship, but especially in marriage!
    You two are adorable!
    xo, Lily
    Beauty With Lily

  28. January Hart July 15, 2017 / 9:42 am

    Seriously hope to be able to meet you two in person one of these days! You guys are such a precious couple it’s so apparent how much you both love AND like one another! Congratulations on your 9th year of marriage!!

  29. Rach July 15, 2017 / 10:23 am

    Happy Anniversary!! I definitely agree that communication is so important and key for a happy marriage! You guys are adorable!

    http://www.rdsobsessions.com

  30. Tristan Dennington July 15, 2017 / 2:19 pm

    Happy Anniversary! I so agree with all your advice. I have been married for 13 years (together for 18), and communication is definitely the key!

    -Tristan

  31. Kelssey layton July 15, 2017 / 6:52 pm

    Congrats on 9 years! Such a big celebration! And totally agree on the C’s! Such a good way to put them!!

  32. angelle Marix July 16, 2017 / 6:35 pm

    This is soooooo good and soooo true!!!! JESUS and Communication is the key to a happy marriage!! Love this post and love you!!!!!!!!!!!!! Happy Anniversary!!!

    xoxo,
    Angelle
    http://www.dashingdarlin.com

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