My mom flew in from CT this weekend and it was the best treat. When we are together we are always chatting away. This weekend we got to talking about her childhood. She shared how her grandmother and father were the main adults to raise her. Her mom worked in Canada to help support the family and would only manage to get back to Jamaica, every 2 years for 2 weeks at a time. I’ve heard this a few times before and it always makes me inexplicably sad. This time, I thought wow. What a privelage it is that I get to be with my kids most days of their young lives. What an impact and influence have.
I asked myself this question: What 3 main things would you like your kids to glean from you as their mom?
1) Be yourself: I spent too many years of my life trying to be someone else, never thinking I was good enough. When I finally accepted who I was and was proud, I was free and I thrived. I don’t want 30 years to go by before my children realize how amazing they are and how much they bring to the table as individuals and amazing gifts to this world. Praying for the wisdom and words to effectively relay this truth.
2) Develop healthy boundaries: WOW. Can I just say, I have not figured this one out yet? Ben and I are not the greatest with boundaries. We are getting better!! Not that we are “yes men” because we are not, but we have a difficult time saying no to people who need help or our time. Slowly, very slowly we are learning how to say no at the right times. We both come from generous parents and are now trying to develop a balance of yes and no. I struggled with fear of man for ages and Ben just has the biggest heart… dangerous combo. I want my kids to learn how to prioritize their time, their lives and relationships. Teaching them that in saying no and creating boundaries in their lives they are allowing freedom to reign and gaining control over their lives. As mentioned earlier, Ben and I are a working progress in this area. Praying that as we grow in wisdom and revelation in this area we can share clearly from our experiences and walk with them step by step in different situations that arise.
3) Love big & Forgive quickly: There is so much in scripture that addresses the power of love. Love is what enabled Christ to follow through with dying on the cross for our sins. Not only His love for the Father but His love for us. Love is described as covering a multitude of sins (which we all have). We are told to love our neighbor as ourselves, with the idea of really loving others the way we want to be loved. Apart from the bible is personal experience where I have experienced the love of God in a way I did not and will never deserve. Then there’s the idea of forgiveness, knowing that I am forgiven, no matter what, by the grace and love God is so overwhelming and humbling. Some how relaying all of this to my children is so very important to me. The mere truth that we are all a mess, we all make mistakes, that the same judgement you place on others can come back to you, that we all have access to a love and forgiveness that we don’t deserve, really needs to be a lens that we operate through daily. Not to mention that hanging on to unforgiveness is so weighty and not worth it. I think in this area of loving big and forgiving quickly, leading by example is so huge. We shall see! I’m still learning.
All in all, I’m thankful for the opportunity to be a mom. I’m also seeing what a responsibility I have. Praying for grace and crazy amounts of wisdom. Thanks so much for stopping by the blog!!
Ava, Savannah, Judah- all Target with the following exceptions:
Savannah’s sunnies: Shop Cuffs Boutique
Ava’s glasses: Forever 21
Judah’s beanie: Wildling Kids
Photography: Renee Pena